In this crazy ,wonderful , complex, world that we live in,there are many gifts and many challenges.
Of those, some of my greatest are my family!
They bring me the greatest joy and the greatest hurt.
The greatest pride and the greatest conflict.
They are my main reason for living.
Another, is my own mind!
Though I am only one person -
One person with many thoughts and feelings-
I am caught in the middle many times.

AND I can definitely create a battle of my own right inside my own head!I am a person who would sometimes prefers to live in a dream world of  "Norman Rockwell" moments....

And I guess that can sometimes lead me down the wrong path.
But I don't like to let my thoughts go into that darker world of 

"what-ifs" too often......
It's too scary and really not very helpful!
God blessed me with a strong sense of curiosity and wonder which can sometimes be a bit of a curse!
Almost every morning I wake up saying 

"this is the day The Lord has made- let me rejoice and be glad!
I'll admit some days can be harder than others to say that - 

but what's the alternative? Let us be grumpy and sad? No thanks!

Each day is a day to learn, a day to discover, a day to grow. It doesn't have to be monumental - it can just mean you see things in a different light - like using a camera at a different angle and getting a completely different shot than the first! ( maybe that's why I like to take so many pictures!)

As this new year begins- I am looking forward to more days to learn, discover, and grow! I hope you will too!

Happy New Year!!

One more day..............

The time Has Come......35 years ....can seem like a lifetime to some and others may look at it as a blink of the eye! I vacillate between the two...

It has been that long since I began my career in nursing. So young and inexperienced - ready to "save the world" from illnesses and diseases! I laugh when I think of my salary back then - started at $5.65/hr and thought I was rich!! Ha! Gone are the days of "PM care"  where patients got back rubs and a snack every evening! (I actually had some new young nurses ask what PM care was - and they were amazed that we did that!) 

My dream was to always work in the OR and that was fulfilled about 2 years into my career.

After working at 2 different OR's for 1-2 years, I settled at Bethesda North and it is there where I have stayed the remaining years.

I have seen MANY changes over the years, as expected, and one of the real true reasons I loved the OR was to "see" how they fix the problems in people. You can't look into someone's body and not be in awe of God's design! So intricate and complex that only someone like He could engineer. Ingenious!

I  have experienced a lot of joy and also sorrow....which is how life is. So difficult to have a young child come into surgery for a brain tumor and not immediately think of your own kids and how blessed you are! On the other side - So fun to see the happiness people have to be able to be cured of cancer and getting their ports out because they no longer need Chemo.

And so many more things in between.

I was blessed to have made many friends with my co-workers over the years and to know that they "got your back" if ever you were on the "other side" as a patient! Truly a great privilege to have that! And to have a great rapport with most of the doctors and know also that you could call them in times of trouble for you or a family member. I will miss that.

But I wont miss the paperwork which has become out of control, or the new computerized system that is supposed to make things more efficient but to me has a "coldness" to it. Seems like things are more focused on that machine than the patient....but maybe I'm just "old school"!

I wont miss getting out of bed on those cold dark mornings and driving to work in the snow.

I wont miss the late shifts when your legs are "screaming" because you have been standing on them for 8 plus hours and now you have to do another case and "oh, by the way, this is scheduled for 2 hours! This aging body I have  is slowly needing new parts and repair! A "tune-up" now and then,  as my husband likes to call it!

But I will miss that medical "connection" that you have when you work in a hospital.

And I will miss all the good conversations that go on during surgeries, the interesting people you meet and how grateful they are that you are there to help them.

I will always be a nurse - its just now taken on a new dimension in my life and I hope to use my time helping people in other ways when I can. Its just now I get to decide where and when! When my friends got to stay home with their little babies way back when and I was working....well now it is my time to enjoy my time with my family and explore new and creative ways to share and give back.

So I have one more day to be an OR nurse....and then who knows where the Lord will direct me from here! I can't wait to see what he has in store for me!

Mornings.....

I LOVE mornings! I love the sun coming in my window, getting brighter and more alive every minute. Have you noticed the way the birds start to sing - usually about 5:30am in the summer....it starts with one bird softly chirping and before you know it there is a whole chorus! I imagine one starting out "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad," and the rest are answering with "sing a joyful noise all ye lands"! Most days the air smells so fresh, in the mornings! I like to go out onto my back porch a take a deep breath to try and absorb it all before the day moves on and develops all the various odors it can have. And talk about peaceful.....nothing like it the rest of the day! I like the fact that if something is weighing on your mind the night before, you can have a totally different outlook on it the next morning! Life just makes more sense to me in the morning! My mind is fresh and my body is rejuvenated! So to all of you out there who hate mornings and walk around grumpy for awhile...
try a different approach to it all and maybe you'll have a better attitude the rest of the day!

Come on, admit it! We can say that we don't care what other people think of us....but without some confirmation or agreement about our thoughts - they seem to get lost in a sea of wonder.
We all have crazy thoughts that we NEVER share - only our God knows truly what's on our minds and in our hearts. But there is some solace in knowing that someone, somewhere out there is feeling the same! Isnt it a comfort to start talking about something that you've been through or thought about and someone comments that they are going through the same thing!
We humans are more alike than we'd like to admit! We all just wanna be loved, right? And to have some kind of connection! It sustains us and it pushes us to do better.
So at the end of the day when you lay your weary head on your nice,soft, comfortable pillow.....let those thoughts of love ease your mind! Be comforted in knowing that only God can control the happenings in our day and it is up to us to make our goals and act accordingly.
In the name of Valentine....spread the LOVE!!!

Does prayer really change "things" or people?

How powerful do you think prayer really is? Do you believe all the prayers in the world can change the plans God has already made for you? Can it turn the dead to life, the blind to see, the lame to walk,a gay person straight, or an atheist to believe? OR does is just give us the power to accept what God has put in our path and help us see a different side of things?

I have read "The Power of a Praying Woman for her kids" (by Stormie Omartian) and I ask myself if I believe my prayers will actually change the events or actions in my kids lives or just change ME into never giving up hope that they will walk with the Lord? Will they live a life of love, joy, peace, faith, kindness, gentleness, and self control? I can hope and wish but it really is up to them and their personal walk.

We only have control of our attitude about life and how we react to what God puts in front of us and to be able to increase our appreciation for God's grace that is our there for us to grab and from that, gain wisdom to hopefully share with those who will listen.

As I lay down at night to say my prayers - do I pray that someone from cancer will be healed - or that that person will have the strength to endure what God has in store for them and to have faith in His love that HE is in control!

If He already knows us so well, down to the number of hairs on our heads, wouldn't His plans already be in place??

If I pray that my friend or family member will get a job and if he/she does are my prayers answered? If they don't are they not answered?? Not sure. I guess I can only pray that God will come into each persons heart and that they will be open to listening to God's voice in what they are to do.

Yes prayer can be powerful -

but I believe mostly it will change the hearts and souls of the people and not necessarily the events planned for us.

Being happy, grateful, and having God's grace....

My Outpost reading....PSALM 100

Make a joyful noise all ye lands

Worship the Lord with gladness

Come before Him with joyful songs

Know that the Lord is God

It is He who made us and we are His

We are His people, the sheep of His pasture

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise

Give thanks to Him and praise His name

For the Lord is good and His love endures forever

His faithfulness continues through all generations

I cannot recite from memory any quote from the Bible

I am amazed at the people who can.

My middle son,Paul, learned this psalm when he was 5 and it has always stuck with me

Aside from him being as cute as ever trying to pronounce the words,(& yes we have it on video!), he didn't really understand the meaning....but to me it was a clear instruction of what we are to do -

and that is to obey God. This is a blueprint to teach us how to worship God joyfully and be thankful.

Singing is a way to make a joyful noise. It can provide unity in the hearts of people involved.

I have always enjoyed music and singing - even though I don't have a show voice! God doesn't care how good our voice is!

It brings joy to my heart and singing with others can give me a feeling of fellowship. God truly wants us to be happy and enjoy all he has given us!

Also if we listen to His voice - it is only a result of the training provided by Him and His continuous loving kindness towards us that we are able to change our behaviors and become better people

We must continue to obey, worship and praise God throughout our lives - even in the most challenging times.

That is when he hears our prayers even more! Why? Because he knows that we have faith in Him and that we will trust Him to help us get through our hard times

Keep your eyes and your heart on God - always!

Make a joyful noise all the earth! God made us all - He is not prejudiced to one group on people

Just as a son is his mother's...we are God's own. Therefore give thanks!!

Author Dennis Prager writes in his book "Happiness is a serious problem" that there is a secret to happiness and it is gratitude.

All happy people are grateful and ungrateful people cannot be happy.

We tend to think that is is being unhappy that leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that it is complaining that leads to people becoming unhappy. Become grateful and you will become a much happier person!"

Enter God's gates with thanksgiving...it is good to give thanks to the Lord but not because God needs it - but because WE need it.

It was a very inspiring meeting today at Outpost and the speaker we had spoke of Gods grace - how it is free to only those who are weak. I tend to believe that for the most part but I believe that God's grace is there for the taking for us all - whether we even realize it or not! He is constantly present in our lives and wants what's best for us but we have to be cognizant of his presence to get the full benefit from it. We need to be aware of the "religion" of God and not the "religion" of our agenda for being a mom, wife or an employee or whatever. And in that respect we need to "weaken" ourselves or empty ourselves of our control of things and let his grace shower us with to love He feels for us. Life is precious and goes by so fast that we all need to take time to reflect on the goodness and be grateful for all that we have....then we can be truly happy! God bless!

Graduation, Family vacation and Outpost

Well, we've made it through our 3rd and final child (daughter) graduating from college!! What a great feeling! There is definitely a sense of pride in knowing we were able to work hard and be able to put our 3 children through college and get them started on their careers! It certainly wasn't always a smooth ride, but we've learned a lot through the process! Now the job search begins which is another bridge to cross! But I feel that God will lead her in the right direction as long as she is open to listening! That is always the key!

We then ventured on a family vacation....yes all 5 of us for the first time in about 8 years!! Usually my oldest son isnt able to join us because of his travels with his entertaining work, but this year it worked out and it was so much fun! We did a little white water rafting, beaching, boating, and kayaking , but most of all we got to be together! It was really fun to see my adult kids act like kids again and to enjoy each others company! It will definitely be one to remember and who knows when that opportunity will come again. Carpe Diem!!

There is an organization in Newtown, Ohio called Outpost which is "a gathering of women committed to encouraging, motivating, challenging, and developing our walk with Jesus. Whether you are a life-long follower of Christ or still unsure of your relationship with Him, these gatherings will point you in the right direction."

I went to my first one a few weeks ago and it was wonderful! There is a mix of song, testimony and scripture reading for 1 1/2 hours and an amazing group of very welcoming women there! I have been asked to read a scripture and give my insight for what I pick next week . Now understand that I am not a public speaker and have NEVER really done anything like this before but - HEY - this is all about stepping outside of the box a little.....ok a lot... and see what great inspiring, MEANINGFUL things come my way!

I will write more about it after I have presented and see what happens!